Sad, sadder, saddest

Who knew this was going to go on for so freaking long? Almost a year into this purgatory that is my "new" life. Sobbing at four in the morning has become the norm. When the depression hotline doesn't respond to your email you know you really are a hopeless case. Between tears and not being able to breathe due to the choking on tears phenomenon, at least it came to me: I finally figured out my epitaph. Hence the name of this blog. When the infamous "they" tell you that you are not alone DO NOT believe them. Family? Too busy and not interested. Friends? Too far or already dead. Is there a crime that leads to incarceration long term, minimal security, free medical, and three squares a day? I'd be somebody's bitch for that. Or should I go the psych ward route? Hospital someplace warm thank you very much. This is NOT a cry for help. What worries me is that it is just another wallow in self-pity but with a written vocabulary. Who cares? Sometimes not even me.