From style rookie. Very cool mostly fashion blog written by a teeny young lady who, especially in this photo, resembles one of my Girl Scouts from way back in the day. My daughters will recognize her. Both of those young women amaze me. Following their dreams, blazing their own paths, going forward unafraid. I am proud of them both. And, dare I admit, green with envy.
It is tres' difficult when you discover what you want to be when you grow up and you are decades past what is considered your prime. All those years when the economy was booming and I was busy doing other things. Raising children, secretly smoking, baking cookies, postponing myself. The kids turned out great and I am pleased as punch that I had even a smidge's worth of influence on their current wonderful-ness. The other parts? Not so much.
Knowing what to demand for yourself when you are also a mom is a slippery slope. Most of the time I was clueless. My childhood taught me to sacrifice everything and ALWAYS put myself last. I sucked at that and every feminist author, actor, artist ....Well, I don't recall a clear message from any of them. And so I stumbled along. Delay. Delay. Delay. Daughters grew. Marriage died. Health and finances crumbled. And, so far, there has been no happy ending.
I hobble along. I pray. (Yup! I really do pray.) I cry a LOT. I keep going. Y'all can kick me when I'm down and there are plenty who do. And now I am most assuredly down. But I'm heading for the spot with my name. I'm keeping tabs on these beautiful bright women (darling daughters, bloggers, and scouts) and I'm keeping Mr. Vonnegut's words in the back of my mind.
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