Ambiance

I am not lazy.  I like it clean.  Picking stuff up is hard when I use both hands simply for balance.  Sweeping?  Which leg do I risk?  If I let go the crutchy support, how long do I have before the knee gives way?  So I do the best I can.  I pace myself.  I cry.

Today I did laundry.  Today I folded laundry AND put it all away.  I carried dishes back and forth from the counter to the table and back to the sink.  I watered plants.  I managed to get the empty body wash container into the trash basket with a minimum of hysteria. I figured out how to change out the stained glass.

This might not sound like much.  Not for the normies out there.  It was a lot for me.  I'm not tired.  Not even I get exhausted from such minimal physical exertion.  It's the fear and the frustration and the shame that stress me out.  My time is SO limited and there is always more to get done.  Sundowning and drug interactions hobble me also.

Today I  gave myself a reward.  I burned some incense.  I cobbled together a mini crab salad sandwich.  And I made my first ever smoothie.  Just for me.  Just for being a good girl.