This is probably a result of watching too many doctor shows online.
But why couldn't it be a giant, honkin' tumor? Rip me open and scoop the damn thing out and chuck it in the trash. Huh?
Or why can't I just get the damn leg chopped off at the hip? Let somebody experiment on it. Bonus weight loss for me,eh?
Maybe the bloodwork will show a new disease that necessitates massive painkillers or injections of some kind. And then the doctor will get me into a fancy, schmancy clinical study somewhere. Or an up and coming medical reasearcher will want to glom onto my case to advance knowledge and save people.
But the truth is...
The actuality is that none of those options will occur.
This pain will go on forever and I will keep missing the good parts of life outside these walls. I used to be afraid of becoming one of those huge, bed bound freaks who can't leave their house because of their weight. I didn't ever suspect that I'd be locked in by the inability to walk. Well, I am not quite the hugest of freaks; but I am certainly bound. This leg. This pain. I am a prisoner.
And I doubt I can tolerate it much longer.
But why couldn't it be a giant, honkin' tumor? Rip me open and scoop the damn thing out and chuck it in the trash. Huh?
Or why can't I just get the damn leg chopped off at the hip? Let somebody experiment on it. Bonus weight loss for me,eh?
Maybe the bloodwork will show a new disease that necessitates massive painkillers or injections of some kind. And then the doctor will get me into a fancy, schmancy clinical study somewhere. Or an up and coming medical reasearcher will want to glom onto my case to advance knowledge and save people.
But the truth is...
The actuality is that none of those options will occur.
This pain will go on forever and I will keep missing the good parts of life outside these walls. I used to be afraid of becoming one of those huge, bed bound freaks who can't leave their house because of their weight. I didn't ever suspect that I'd be locked in by the inability to walk. Well, I am not quite the hugest of freaks; but I am certainly bound. This leg. This pain. I am a prisoner.
And I doubt I can tolerate it much longer.
No comments:
Post a Comment