As the functioning of my right knee and hip continues to decay, I am appreciating my left hand more and more. It's my dominant cane holding hand and I would not have even the limited mobility I now possess without that hand. I wash it tenderly every night before bed and apologize to it every morning. It is almost always cramped, discolored,and full of bulging, hideous veins. I'm so sorry.
I do not have brown eyes. I always wanted them. Bedroom brown. Puppy dog brown. Oh, yeah. Mr. Newman had already cornered the market on the Best Blue Eyes of all time. And then there was the glorious Ms. Taylor and her (allegedly) violet eyes. Game over for the blue eyed gals. Still, mine more or less work. And since I am incredibly nearsighted already I didn't have to go through the crisis of "hot damn now I need reading glasses."
I am not, and never have been, slender, svelte, or skinny. I've never been thin. I've never been a 98 pound weakling except on the way past it. I have been the fat girl all my life. I wore a girdle to my fifth grade confirmation. No, it was most definitely NOT MY CHOICE!!! I have never been called cute or pretty. I have never taken any one's breath away or made a heart skip a beat. And I know it doesn't really matter; but I'm here to tell ya after all these years it hurts just a smidge. However, I will go to my grave being grateful for this body. It helped bring three stupendous humans to the planet and that's more than enough for one lifetime's accomplishment. And, if properly rested, it gets me through the day.
I am not named Debra. My name has three syllables, thank you very much. Please use them. That is all. Oh, and...
I do not have brown eyes. I always wanted them. Bedroom brown. Puppy dog brown. Oh, yeah. Mr. Newman had already cornered the market on the Best Blue Eyes of all time. And then there was the glorious Ms. Taylor and her (allegedly) violet eyes. Game over for the blue eyed gals. Still, mine more or less work. And since I am incredibly nearsighted already I didn't have to go through the crisis of "hot damn now I need reading glasses."
I am not, and never have been, slender, svelte, or skinny. I've never been thin. I've never been a 98 pound weakling except on the way past it. I have been the fat girl all my life. I wore a girdle to my fifth grade confirmation. No, it was most definitely NOT MY CHOICE!!! I have never been called cute or pretty. I have never taken any one's breath away or made a heart skip a beat. And I know it doesn't really matter; but I'm here to tell ya after all these years it hurts just a smidge. However, I will go to my grave being grateful for this body. It helped bring three stupendous humans to the planet and that's more than enough for one lifetime's accomplishment. And, if properly rested, it gets me through the day.
I am not named Debra. My name has three syllables, thank you very much. Please use them. That is all. Oh, and...
If you ever get the movie Horrible Bosses...there is a scene with that song in it. And it is HILARIOUS because it involves cocaine.
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