Blogs I Will No Longer Read

1.  Anything with a photo of a snotty nosed child.   Also any naked butt pictures of your little darlings. Sorry, that is just not cute and your son or daughter will probably want to kill you when he or she becomes an  angsty adolescent.

2.  Anything where the banner photo is SO BIG I have to scroll down for half an hour to reach the text.  Too much work and you are not Dickens.

3.  Any post more than a week old.  Exceptions here are authors I actually know and love.  Otherwise you are banished.

4.  Any blog with too many advertisements.  I want to read, not help you make a living; or at least not be reminded of it every inch.  Also blogs that are just entries for etsy shops.  Clever, but I am not looking to shop.

5.  Anything with too many spelling or grammar errors.  There is simply no excuse.  Even I can use spellcheck.  Spelchek?  Spelchick?

6.  Anything too cutesy-wootsey.  Those Mormon women who rename their husbands come to mind.  I'm all for confidentiality, but who are we kidding?  And anything that remotely reminds me of Kate Gosselin.  You know who you are.  A bitch who takes economic advantage of her own children.  Shoot her now and take us all out of the misery.

7.  Anything that implies that your life is better because of ___________ (fill in the blank).  Happy for your happiness, salvation, current level of joy, etc. but please don't beat the hapless reader over the head.

8.  Any blog with no pictures at all.  So there:

9.  Any blog that can't make me laugh at least once in awhile.

10.  Anything that never, ever has a curse word.  Even one in quotation marks would be fine.  I just refuse to believe that any writer is that perfect.  Or prudish.  Or priggish.  Take your pick-ish.

Other than that, I confess, blogs hold a strange attraction for me.  That combo platter of diary and public journal writing is....well, at least not boring.  So I will stay tuned for the most part.  I stumbled upon a blog the other day with 7,893 followers!  That might not be much in the great blog-oh-sphere; but does anyone actually know that many people?