Not gonna do them any, any more!
Long ago I stopped administering Love Tests when one of my Darling Daughters pointed out what I was doing. She was just a little kid at the time, but so freaking perceptive. She was "calling me on my stuff" (HUS term) way back when. I took it to heart, swallowed my pride, and quit doing it.
Maya tells us to believe people when they show us who they are. Not an easy thing to do. Apparently I am surrounded by Love Testers. I tell them I am not going to play. I tell them to speak to me directly. I try to be honest and examine my share of the "bad shit". BIG SIGH.... It doesn't work.
Then it occurred to me...if the tests are endless and don't really require my participation maybe these Love Testers do not want an answer. OOOOooooohhhhhhhh. Light bulb moment? Is this just about the drama? And I should stop beating myself over the head, right? The sarcastic bitch below the surface of my skin STILL wants to slap their faces. Hard! But I will control her. Maybe I will form an alliance with Evil Debbe. She don't take no Love Test!
Anyway...after yesterday's crap ass start it really did turn out fairly well. Nice visit with Recently A Bride Daughter (although her anniversary is in a few months...) and some deelish news in the mail. Knee is much, MUCH worse this morning (snap, crackle, pop, exponentially increasing!) but I have decided to bulldog my way through the day. No rain in the forecast. A bit more than a week til the celebration! I DO have things to look forward to!
So. Beware, Love Testers! I've got your number. You've rammed it down my throat long enough. Maybe now I'll just keep my mouth shut. Find something else to do. And please, keep your speculations to yourselves. Give Mommy Dearest a break for a change.
That is all.
Long ago I stopped administering Love Tests when one of my Darling Daughters pointed out what I was doing. She was just a little kid at the time, but so freaking perceptive. She was "calling me on my stuff" (HUS term) way back when. I took it to heart, swallowed my pride, and quit doing it.
Maya tells us to believe people when they show us who they are. Not an easy thing to do. Apparently I am surrounded by Love Testers. I tell them I am not going to play. I tell them to speak to me directly. I try to be honest and examine my share of the "bad shit". BIG SIGH.... It doesn't work.
Then it occurred to me...if the tests are endless and don't really require my participation maybe these Love Testers do not want an answer. OOOOooooohhhhhhhh. Light bulb moment? Is this just about the drama? And I should stop beating myself over the head, right? The sarcastic bitch below the surface of my skin STILL wants to slap their faces. Hard! But I will control her. Maybe I will form an alliance with Evil Debbe. She don't take no Love Test!
Anyway...after yesterday's crap ass start it really did turn out fairly well. Nice visit with Recently A Bride Daughter (although her anniversary is in a few months...) and some deelish news in the mail. Knee is much, MUCH worse this morning (snap, crackle, pop, exponentially increasing!) but I have decided to bulldog my way through the day. No rain in the forecast. A bit more than a week til the celebration! I DO have things to look forward to!
So. Beware, Love Testers! I've got your number. You've rammed it down my throat long enough. Maybe now I'll just keep my mouth shut. Find something else to do. And please, keep your speculations to yourselves. Give Mommy Dearest a break for a change.
That is all.
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