Birds are morons and I want them all to die. May they all come down with avian flu or swine flu or pony flu or whatever disease is most newsworthy at the moment. Anything! Just to shut them the fuck up at four in the morning!
I thought when the Loud Mouth Lady and her Yappy Dog and "possibly criminal" Husband finally left we would have some peace and quiet here at Elder House. Oh, she of the leather lungs and boomingly inappropriate laugh would hold conferences in the long and very echoey hallway day after day after day. Had they not left when they did I think I would have looked into having them pecked to death by birds and buried in the back yard. And now I hear through the curmudgeon grapevine that this couple is notorious for moving in and out of the building as they become discontent with their living arrangements.
Hasn't research shown that what some folks think of delightful bird song is really a feathered call for sex? "I'm a bird! I'm a bird! I'm a bird! Let's do it! Let's do it!" Guys! If it didn't work yesterday it most likely will not capture the lady birds' mojo today either! Take the show on the road already! Or at least out of earshot of this building. Please.
I thought when the Loud Mouth Lady and her Yappy Dog and "possibly criminal" Husband finally left we would have some peace and quiet here at Elder House. Oh, she of the leather lungs and boomingly inappropriate laugh would hold conferences in the long and very echoey hallway day after day after day. Had they not left when they did I think I would have looked into having them pecked to death by birds and buried in the back yard. And now I hear through the curmudgeon grapevine that this couple is notorious for moving in and out of the building as they become discontent with their living arrangements.
Hasn't research shown that what some folks think of delightful bird song is really a feathered call for sex? "I'm a bird! I'm a bird! I'm a bird! Let's do it! Let's do it!" Guys! If it didn't work yesterday it most likely will not capture the lady birds' mojo today either! Take the show on the road already! Or at least out of earshot of this building. Please.
No comments:
Post a Comment