How do you know if a place is haunted?
I go to bed early. I doze. I read. I get up to pee. I look out the window. I rearrange blankets. I plan the next day's meals. I think about calls I have to make and emails I want to send. I cry. I pray. "Lather rinse, repeat" like the old instructions on a shampoo bottle.
And last night I listened to a brand new sound.
From the kitchen I am almost sure. Dripping? Crinkling? Munching? Oh God! Please NOT munching! If there are mice or rats I am going to get medieval in a particularly hideous old lady manner!
All the trash is double bagged. The only "food" not contained in fridge or cabinet are some new, red potatoes, two oranges and two kiwis. Counters are wiped and floors are as crumb free as possible. Yikes! Please not critters! There have been no signs and the noises go on for far too long. Wouldn't rodents chow down and move along?
It's not anything clinking in a breeze. The window is only open an inch or two and the night is still. All is calm. All is bright. Even the noisy plastic bags from the Big Box are stowed away. No other possible sources of a crinkle.
That leaves dripping as the only option I can imagine. But it's 3:15. If I limp out there to discover a huge puddle there is nothing I can do about it. And of course, I'd have to navigate a potential flood without slipping and crashing myself. How badly do I want the paramedics to see my massive self splayed on the soggy floor? Nope, nope, nope. Exploration can wait til daylight.
I listen more. Eventually I sleep. Cloudy morning. Since procrastination is my current favorite sport, I treat myself to another LUSH shower. Thank you, Eldest Daughter. I medicate. I dress. I hobble to the kitchen and find:
NOTHING!!! No puddles. No debris. Nothing moved or out of place. No nibble marks on the counter foodstuff. Nothing is even damp!
So, do I call maintenance and report a ghostly noisemaker? Or do I wait til the ceiling crashes in? Or do I do the Hokey Pokey?
I go to bed early. I doze. I read. I get up to pee. I look out the window. I rearrange blankets. I plan the next day's meals. I think about calls I have to make and emails I want to send. I cry. I pray. "Lather rinse, repeat" like the old instructions on a shampoo bottle.
And last night I listened to a brand new sound.
From the kitchen I am almost sure. Dripping? Crinkling? Munching? Oh God! Please NOT munching! If there are mice or rats I am going to get medieval in a particularly hideous old lady manner!
All the trash is double bagged. The only "food" not contained in fridge or cabinet are some new, red potatoes, two oranges and two kiwis. Counters are wiped and floors are as crumb free as possible. Yikes! Please not critters! There have been no signs and the noises go on for far too long. Wouldn't rodents chow down and move along?
It's not anything clinking in a breeze. The window is only open an inch or two and the night is still. All is calm. All is bright. Even the noisy plastic bags from the Big Box are stowed away. No other possible sources of a crinkle.
That leaves dripping as the only option I can imagine. But it's 3:15. If I limp out there to discover a huge puddle there is nothing I can do about it. And of course, I'd have to navigate a potential flood without slipping and crashing myself. How badly do I want the paramedics to see my massive self splayed on the soggy floor? Nope, nope, nope. Exploration can wait til daylight.
I listen more. Eventually I sleep. Cloudy morning. Since procrastination is my current favorite sport, I treat myself to another LUSH shower. Thank you, Eldest Daughter. I medicate. I dress. I hobble to the kitchen and find:
NOTHING!!! No puddles. No debris. Nothing moved or out of place. No nibble marks on the counter foodstuff. Nothing is even damp!
So, do I call maintenance and report a ghostly noisemaker? Or do I wait til the ceiling crashes in? Or do I do the Hokey Pokey?
No comments:
Post a Comment