It is really hot and I am hiding inside. I crank up the air conditioner and perch in front of my laptop and try to get something productive done. These things usually produce nothing tangible; nothing I can hold up at the end of the day and say, "There! See what I did!" And so I usually feel as if I have accomplished nothing. Another lesson that has been gouged into my soul.
It is really hot and I want to gulp down my lovely pain meds, stretch out as far as I can on my shabby, hideous bed, read and nap. Almost comfortable and I can convince myself that I am adding to the ever increasing wisdom and information stored inside my mind. My leg hurts least in this position.
When it is really hot like this I have to work hard to persuade myself that it is OK to keep the AC set at a temperature that I find comfortable. I pay the electric bill; so the extravagance of a nice cool room is my burden. But that nagging, sniping voice picks at me telling me how wasteful I am. I value being economical (and that is another lesson that runs very deep) but I hate sweating. Especially sweating when I am sitting still. Making phone calls is work sometimes; and I can't work when perspiration is dripping under my glasses. I fight the guilt. The noise makes me cringe.
I'm glad the power here at Elder House is still functioning. But I can't wait for autumn.
It is really hot and I want to gulp down my lovely pain meds, stretch out as far as I can on my shabby, hideous bed, read and nap. Almost comfortable and I can convince myself that I am adding to the ever increasing wisdom and information stored inside my mind. My leg hurts least in this position.
When it is really hot like this I have to work hard to persuade myself that it is OK to keep the AC set at a temperature that I find comfortable. I pay the electric bill; so the extravagance of a nice cool room is my burden. But that nagging, sniping voice picks at me telling me how wasteful I am. I value being economical (and that is another lesson that runs very deep) but I hate sweating. Especially sweating when I am sitting still. Making phone calls is work sometimes; and I can't work when perspiration is dripping under my glasses. I fight the guilt. The noise makes me cringe.
I'm glad the power here at Elder House is still functioning. But I can't wait for autumn.
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