Projects That Need To Be

Cheer Me Up!

Today is Blood Test Day and, of course I am sinking fast.  Usual terror.  Usual cigarette desire.  Usual imagining car catastrophes and traffic conflagrations.

Usual forgetting that these things usually work out and I make it home in one piece.  Usual forgetting that I promised myself to think of it as an interesting adventure and not another torturous phenomenon.  Try to at least think of it as a learning experience.

At least  eight vials of blood.  The coolest one is to test for some kind of genetic defect.

Then I'll really know who to blame.

Um, I Get It

While others begin a weekend of sailing and martini consumption, I prepare to do laundry.

Of course much procrastination comes first.

Trolling all artsy fartsy blogs when along comes the following.

Time to pack up my quarters and my stinky sheets and get out of Dodge.

Spare Me

Small animal photos.

Orders to copy and paste to prove that I am reading your entries.
Posts with misspelled words.
Posts exclusively composed of "text-ese."
Pseudo religious pleas or instructions.

Orders to copy and paste so that I will avoid dire consequences.
Links to horrible music.
Exhortations about dead family members.
Links to gun or gun owner sites.
Images of trite encouragement. Trite images of encouragement.

Sports related links.
Political links.

Thank you.  I promise to do the same.

Drain

Another week of beautiful weather.
Outside.
Where I rarely go.
Pain is such an inhibitor.
Fear also.
The breeze is incredibly enticing and windows are open wide.
I share what I can.
I am grateful.
Yes.
I am grateful.
A week on the blasted cell phone.
Trying to make contact.
Trying to understand.
Trying for answers.
Trying.
Trying is exhausting.
Especially when there is nothing to show for it.
This state of affairs masquerades as laziness or lassitude.
The fight begins before I am out of bed.
That doesn't count.
No space on the score card.
Get over it.
Go on.
Go.

Dark And Twisty

Meredith Grey has nothing on me.

Forms arrived in the mail yesterday.  Blood pressure rises.  Heartbeat increases.  Urge to vomit makes itself known.  This is NOT going to be good news. 

Still.....

The envelope is thick.  In college application lore this is a positive indication.  Do I dare open it in the hallway?  Deep breath.

Reading.  Reading.  Continued reading.  And every page is incomprehensible.  Each paragraph seems to contradict the paragraph preceding it.  Half of the pages are in Spanish and I cannot locate the equivalent pages in English.  The letterheads do not match up.  I am totally lost; at least I am not dissolved in panic driven tears yet.

Back inside apartment.  Rest.  Eat.  Fold laundry.  Pee.  Sleep.  Pee again and again.  Crochet.  Pee yet again.  Oh, yeah, breathe.  Peruse forms and discover the desperation contact number.  Decide to wait til morning.  Procrastination is king around here.  And I must say, I believe it keeps me alive most days.

Morning.  Assemble forms, a working pen, charged phone, plenty of paper.  Navigate to the website in case it is referenced during the call.  Dial.  Listen to endless phone prompts and menu selections.  Wait.  Wait.  Continue waiting til the final recorded message:  "Regular office hours are Monday through Thursday, 8:00 am to..."  I stop listening and look at the clock.

7:59.

It figures.

What do you bet when I call back the final message will go something like this:  "All our mindless drones are speaking with other more important clients."

I wish I had learned to speak "Government Red Tape."