These Would Totally Be My Lines

AND



AND

If I can ever find Vivi's confessional scene from "Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood" that would go right here.

Skip the commercials.

To be continued.

Numbers

34   Trees outside my bedroom
35   Months without a cigarette
3     Precious Jewels
2,345  Messages deleted from my old aol account
7     Phone calls completed
2     Calls returned
This is where the video for "Dance 10 Looks 3" from A Chorus Line The Movie is supposed to go.  Anyone who knows how to find it, copy it, and actually figure out how to insert the damn thing, please let me know.  Thanks!
88   Steps to the exit
17   Cars usually in the parking lot
8,450.00  Price of a motorized wheelchair
19   Trips to the bathroom
6    Nightmares last night
47  Pain on a scale of one to ten
11  Days til the card reloads
96   Sad

62  Minutes wasted waiting for program to boot up
5  Snarky emails sent to said program's network
4.09  Dollars in my account
1  Hideous runaway dog
8  Daily meds
11/2 Remaining time

The Other Thing

...and then I watched a lot of Adele themed stuff online.  I don't own a television and I lost the directions on how to download music to my little ipod shuffle thing; so I have been WAY out of the music loop.  Plus old folks like me are not the target audience for anything even vaguely cutting edge.  I rely on my trendy talented children and once a week Subterranean dosage to hone my musical listening chops.

In all my online browsing I kept coming across AdeleAdeleAdele.  I had seen her "Hometown" video years ago (Years?  Seriously?) when I was still at Mommy Dearest's and really liked it.  Found out she was nominated for a boatload of Grammys and, just my luck, she WON a boatload of Grammys.  I had to learn more.

My boyfriend Anderson Cooper had a pretty good interview with Adele on 60 Minutes.  ALL of the other stuff I looked at made at least one weight related comment:  "The singer appeared in a slimming long sleeved dress." Sheesh!  I loved her big hair.  Not crazy about the fake gold fingernails.  Glammed up and gorgeous she was.  And then she opened her mouth and this terrific voice came out and I was enthralled.  And then, THIS morning I chanced upon the following

Oh!  This cracked me up.  There were a bunch of comments suggesting the video was faked somehow and that it wasn't even Adele.  I don't care.  On 60 Minutes she revealed how she planted imaginary scenarios with people who then leaked them to the tabloids and she caught their betraying asses and fired the pack of them.  I thought that was pretty clever.  Adele giggled.  This girl bears watching and listening.  She obviously has a twisted sense of humor.

Another criticism I kept seeing was that all her songs sound pretty much the same and are about broken hearts and getting dumped and having your heart broken.  Sheesh Again!  She's 23!  Unlucky in love is a huge theme at that age.  She can write about the perils of false teeth and snapping her hip joints when she's my age.  Til then let's just let the gal explore in her ever so slimming couture.

One last thing:  Today at my advanced and crotchety age my best jilted love song would go something like this:

You big shit bag!
No one is ever gonna care about you again in life!
I hope you cry every single day, you fucking turd creature!
You will never be happy again and then you will die slowly!
You will rot in hell with all the other pus dripping horrors!

Obviously writing lyrics is not my strong suit.  Let Miss Adele grow and mellow.  You don't want to deal with the likes of me.

Sunday Morning Well Spent

If you have a vagina or know somebody who does;  watch this film.
If you have a penis or know somebody who does; watch this film.
In fact, no matter your gender, color, sexual orientation, height, weight, IQ, taste in literature or food, religious affiliation or any other anything you think makes you different; watch this film.

                       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGlSkdKzolo

I'm coming to Missrepresentation late.  I am no longer in school and I do not own a television.  The topics of conversation here at Elder House run a different route; so please forgive me for not telling you sooner.  Watch this film.  Get everybody you know to watch this film.  This is one something we all can do to make a difference.  A difference HAS to be made.

                                               MISSREPRESENTATION

I didn't think you tube would allow a direct link.  But they did.  Yippee!  Go pee.  Turn off the cell.  Get comfy.  Watch.  Thanks.