What Do You See?

Well?

What do you see?

If you are a regular person you probably see several DVD cases scattered on the floor.

Wrong!

Wrong-Oh!

What it really pictures is a torture device.

My own personal trail of tears and one of many.

Allow me to explain:

Yes, I dropped them and thank heaven nothing else broke.

But then I had to figure out how to pick them all up.

Minutes spent imagining the proper positioning of naked feet and shivering legs.

More minutes sliding canes and chair in optimum support area.

Locating phone in case of fall to ensure 911 reachability.

Raising the bulk.

Suppressing scream of pain.

Hobble, hobble, hobble, grab.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Live to fight another day,

Frenzy

Usually I try to get my laundry at least started early in the morning.  Many of the tenants here at Elder House have professional helpers who begin their work day at nine.  The washing machines fill up quickly.  This past Friday I made it to the laundry room later than I had planned and, yes, all the machines were taken.

No worries.  I perched in my usual spot and opened my book.  Some brilliant individual had propped open the laundry room door by wedging a yellow plastic dustpan underneath.  A blast of air conditioned air swirled into the hall.  Very welcome as the halls are not temperature controlled.

Not all were happy about this.  "Why is that door open?"  The lady in the splashy sundress asked me in a challenging tone.  I told her I didn't know, didn't do it, but was glad for the breeze.  She huffed off,  "Some people are just selfish!"  What?

Leroy (Don't Call Me Sir I Was An Enlisted Man) rolled past and made his usual crack about me guarding the place from all and sundry.  I smiled and assured him I'd let him know if we were under attack.  One of the Dianes had joined me for a bit of wash day conversation and Leroy  loudly pointed out her "size thriteens" in the aisle.  "Move those things outta the way or join me up in my room.  You know what I mean?  Join me?"  Rude and tasteless.  What?

By this time a washer had opened up and I hustled as best I could to start my load of clothes.  How sad is it that my entire wardrobe, so to speak, fits in one machine?  Back in the hall the Other Diane and Kathy had joined us and began a spirited discussion about Grandpa John.  Apparently he has some bladder control issues that the Other Diane had discovered and she was describing an embarassing elevator incident.  I didn't say a word and feigned interest in my book. (Always wanted to use "feigned" in a sentence.)  What is up with these people?

My experiences here, as I've said have been overwhelmingly ones of consideration and kindness.  Was this Friday morning behavior a new thing that I just hadn't seen or heard before?  The days have been steadily getting hotter and maybe that makes old folks act crazy.  A long holiday weekend is near and most of us will not have any fun plans.  Does that induce bad behavior? I'm not sure.  But I got my clean laundry out as soon as it was dry and hightailed it back to my airconditioned room.  Frenzy is just not my style.

And didn't I say that Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise thing wouldn't last?

Heartless Bitch

Now that Mr. Zimmerman is in jail and the outrage surrounding the murder of Trayvon is simmering, what are the news stories filling the vacuum?  I am TV-less; so I view a filtered version, an abbreviated version of what is deemed newsworthy.  And, of course, I get to cherry pick.  What I've been noticing the past few days:

FIRST:

Secret Service men caught with prostitutes in Colombia.  I can't stop laughing!  How stupid can they be?!  One report speculated that the only reason the story was reported at all was because one of the prostitutes made a fuss about not getting paid. (Which causes me to wonder even more about the IQ levels of the agents involved.  Plus in every sex for money movie or book I've ever seen or read, the payment is made up front.)  Colombian law enforcement was summoned and, I guess, the working girl got her money.  A country that protects its women!  The notorious drug capital of the world will give aid to its hookers!  This seems strangely twisted to me.  Should I applaud or vomit?

AND:

Tornadoes in the Midwest.  Is this really a surprise to anyone?  Do the residents really believe that THIS year will be different?  Must be.  There they are standing knee deep in the debris that used to be their homes and they all look so baffled.  "Wwwwwhhhhhhaaaaaa?"  Certainly I hope they receive all the help they need and I rejoice when no deaths or injuries occur.  But, come on already.  Isn't it a bit like living in a dessert and complaining about the heat?  The one entertaining part about these tornado stories is the reporters themselves.  They are surrounded by smashed houses and torn up trees and they can barely contain their excitement as they say, "EF category 3." storm.  They are bouncing in their seats like kids on Christmas morning.

AND FINALLY:

Mitt courts women voters.  Political tail chasing.  He's cute.  I hope people aren't fooled.

Fun In The Green

This afternoon I watched two of the Youthbuild guys mow the grass here at Elder House.  That was always a son's job when I was growing up.  My brothers, when deemed responsible and old enough, pushed power mowers around.  It did not look like fun.  I'm not a big fan of sweat; so not being allowed to cut the grass never felt like a loss.

But these guys...clearly they were having a blast.  They use riding mowers.  They stand on a tiny platform in the back of the machine and zoom around so fast the wheels actually squeal.  They drove over the same patch of front grass six (SIX!) times.  Not once did they crash into each other or the many hazard railings or the bricks surrounding the dogwood tree.

The weed whacker guy followed behind and trimmed all the tight, and I imagine, cranky places.  He also had to cross the street and trim near the curb stops in the parking lot.  The weed whacker has to be carried, does not make anywhere near the  "go fast"noise of the power mowers, and does not possess squealing wheels.

Still, when the job was completed and all the equipment parked; the three of them passed around a can of ice tea, admired the green, green lawn and said,  "Damn now!  That's flat!"